Monday, June 4, 2012

Season two

(unedited)
Welcome back everyone! So we've move into a new house
It's amazing, it's so big and it's right along the water, which I've missed.
 I can't find my jewelry or my watch anywhere. I know that may not seem so bad but, but my gold watch, my necklace, my earrings, they were all gifts from Anthony. I never take them off, and the one time I do... I have another necklace from him, pink and silver, I almost never wear it because the gold pendent matches the watch and earrings and because it looks weird to wear them both, I can't find that eitherI'm completely freaking out but I'm doing my best to hide it from everyone. I'm good at hiding such things....
I'm having a little gathering, a house warming I guess, I decided to catch some fish for me to make up on the grill.
After prepping the fish, removing the bones, scaling, lobbing off the heads, I put them in the fridge for later before heading the hospital to get with the intention of getting on with my challenge. I'm so over it, I've decided that I'm done after baby 25, only reason I'm even going that far is because after all this time I don't want to be done without having even made it to the 1/4 mark,but I am, I'm done, I can't do this anymore.


I smiled to my self seeing Dawn and Newbie together as I got out of the pool to answer the door. I told her I would tell him If she didn't, she's lucky I stick to my word.
Opening the front door I was almost bowled over by two small children as they ran past me on the way to the back. I recognized them as Matthew and Mason's best friend Aaron and his sister Audrey. I greeted their father as he made it up the steps.
Addy -  Hey Ethan.
Ethan - Always nice to see you,Adella.
Addy - The kids already ran out back.
Addy -  You're welcome to stay if you like, there's plenty of food.
I looked away, slightly embarrassed to standing there in my swim suit.
Ethan - Well I guess I could stay, if you don't mind.
Addy - Not at all, go on back, I'm going to get lunch started.
Pulling the fish out of the fridge finished the prep work, seasoning and the like, before taking it out to the grill.
Addy -  Nourriture est prêt! Food's ready!!
Ethan sat next to me while we all ate.
Ethan - What was that? French?
Addy - Yup,vous parlez français, Ethan?
Ethan - Um, no?
Addy - Considering I asked if you speak French, yes, it seems no would be the correct answer.
I laughed before filling my plate a second time.
Ethan - Hmm, there used to be a French class at the community center but it was canceled because they don't have a teacher anymore.
Addy - Hmm.
Nicki -  Why don't you go play with the boys?
Audrey - I'm just Ryan's sister, they don't like me very much.
Nicki - I'm sorry.
Audrey - Don't be, I'm used to it.
Nicki -  Did they actually say that? I can't imagine my brother's being so mean.

Audrey decided to try to play with the boys anyway.
Audrey - Hey!
Mason - What do you want?
Audrey - Can I come up?
He turned back to look at the other two boys.
Matthew - No girls allowed.
Aaron - Yea.
Mason - No, no girls allowed! Go away!
Audrey - No! Let me up.
Mason - We said go away!
Then he pored a bucket of water on the poor girls head.
Audrey - I'm telling!!
Aaron - Go ahead, tattle tail.
Matthew - Yea, go ahead.


Addy - DAWNIE!!
Dawn - ADDY!!
I hugged my best friend before we headed inside her house.
Addy - So did you have fun yesterday?
Dawn - Yeah , it was great. You're new place is gorgeous.
Dawn - So you're quitting you challenge at twenty five huh?
Addy - Yea, I just can't do it anymore Dawnie
Addy -  Now what was this you said about Egypt?
Dawn - Well when you were telling me about your visions you said you said that one was triggered by something when you where in Egypt.
Addy -Yeah, I was attacked by a mummy, it cursed me and a vision showed me how to cure myselfWhat does that have to do with anything?
Dawn - Well I was thinking that maybe if you went back you could trigger another one and then you could start having them again.
Addy - One mummy attack was enough, thanks. You expect me to go though that again, there's no way. I could have died Dawnie
Dawn - I wasn't suggesting you get yourself attacked again but that doesn't mean something else there couldn't trigger a vision, right?
Addy -I guess.
Dawn - So I was thinking, you and me could take a trip to Egypt together and see what happens. It would be nice to do some traveling now that my challenge is almost over and I've never really seen that part of the world.
Dawn - Now, onto that guy you where flirting with yesterday at your housewarming.
Addy - You mean Ethan? I was not flirting with him. 
Dawn - You were sitting together and I heard you giggling. Addy, you like him.
Addy - No, I don't.
Dawn - If you say so...
Just when I was about to tell her again that I do not like Ethan , my phone went off.
Shit!
Addy - Dawnie, could you get me a glass of water or something please?
Dawn - Okay. Change the subject.
Addy - Dawnie, please.
Dawn - Aright.
I grabbed my purse, shutting off the alarm on my phone. I pulled the pill bottle out right as Dawn came back.
Dawn - Addy?? Addy whats that?
Okay, maybe I'm not so good at hiding things after all.
Addy - It's um, Simlaytra. 
Dawn - Anti-depressants? Addy, are things still that bad? How long have you been taking these?
Addy - I've been back on them for a few years.
Dawn - Back? You where on them before.
I sighed, there was a reason I never told any of my friends about this, why I've done my best to hide it from everyone, I hate talking about it.
Dawn - Addy? If you don't want to talk about it...
God, I love her.
Addy - I don't like talking about it but I want to,I wanna explain.
Dawn - Alright Addy, it's up to you.
Addy -  I've struggled with clinical depression my whole life.I was first put on the pills when I was twelve I stopped taking them a few years later... when I met AnthonyI was never taken off  but, but I was so happy, I didn't think I needed them. I started taking them again when we moved to Hidden Springs. And actually, these are the anti-depressants, technically Simlaytra is a depression aid, you take it with anti-depressants. Nathan put me on it when I started going to him. That's another thing I guess I might as well tell you, I don't go to him anymore but I've continued seeing another therapist
Addy - Hey!
Dawn - What?
Addy - Something just accrued to me. I don't know why I've never thought of it before?
Dawn - What is it?
Addy - I started the pills around the same time my visions first stopped.
Dawn - And the visions started again while you where off the pills. Do you think it's possible the pills are keeping you from having visions.
Addy - It seems likely. 
Dawn - So if you stop the pills your visions will come back.
Addy - I guess, but, I don't know , Dawnie I'm on them for a reason. I thought I didn't need them before and look what happenedIf I hadn't been off the pills for years , it still would have ripped me apart but I think I would have handled Anthony's death better. I barely ate, I forced myself out of bed everyday to take care of my kids, I didn't care about my self at all, if not for them, knowing I needed to be there for them, I know I'd be gone too, I don't want to shut down like that again Dawnie.
Dawn - So what are you going to do?
Addy - I don't know...

I looked out the window, rubbing my belly and thinking how much I would miss that feeling.
The back pain however is one thing I will not miss.

Dawn called as, I was leaving the spa after a massage, to discuss our travel plans. I still wanted to take the trip to Egypt.


Luckily I had just put the last finishing touches on the nursery when I went into labor.
A while later I was holding my new baby boy.
Meet baby 21 Julian McKnight, named after my great uncle.

3 comments:

  1. AMAZING POST! I'm so glad to see Addy is back.
    I can't wait until our trip to Egypt, it's gonna be a blast..... I hope. Lol. :P

    ~Dawnie

    ReplyDelete
  2. Great post Addy. I am so glad to see you back and Julian is a cutie. :-)

    Ashby

    ReplyDelete
  3. WHATT!! DONT QUIT :(
    ALL THE EMOTIONS!
    I understand though.
    If Jed died I wouldn't want to continue either
    your new house is so extravagant!

    ~Becks

    ReplyDelete